How many times in the last three years have you heard a reference to “September 11, 2001,” or “the events” thereof? Too DARN many, that’s how many! I’m sick of people referencing it like it was Pearl Harbor or something. Not like it was practically the same thing… oh, hold on. Anyway that’s besides the [...]

I’ve often wondered why so many adults seem to hold an all-encompassing grudge against the teenage population. But I think I’m finally starting to figure out why. A couple nights ago, a group of them got wasted and bashed in around 80 cars in my neighborhood with golf clubs, including mine. Why, you might ask? [...]

Well ladies and gentlemen, we find ourselves in the midst of another great season of Cicada Baseball. That’s right, the sport that frightens the worthless little bugs from their places of solitude so they can be chased and utterly destroyed by the world’s best players, all for the enjoyment of the thousands of fans in [...]

Mark this day down in history! Today is the day I no longer have to gruel tirelessly on x variables, solve equations that don’t seem to have a purpose in real life, or sit for hours at a time staring at some formula a weirdo made up to make life harder. Yes, Oh yes that [...]