The Neo-70’s-Garage-Retro-80’s movement in music today really steams my pancakes. I was just watching some music videos and I had to stuff paper towels down my throat to keep from having a seizure all over the place. It was not pretty, like both people from the White Stripes, and also that chick from the Yeah [...]

You see it everywhere. Whiny, upper-middle-class girly-boy freaks running around, complaining about their latest girl problem, how they can’t find their stuffed animal Snuggles, and how the reflection of the sun on their gerbil cage makes them contemplate the relative deprivation of society (ie., John got an oompa loompa, I feel worthless because I don’t [...]

Psych! Whoa, I love how I threw in that catchy, early 90’s lingo to change the momentum of this article right off the bat. In all reality, I used to think hippies were cool until I realized that everything they stand for is like, stupid. Hippies such as John Kerry, the Democratic Presidential Candidate, or [...]

Two vans filled with innocent, unassuming children. One dark and stormy night. Minus the storm. But it had rained earlier that day. A one and a half hour car ride home from the glorious funland known as “King’s Dominion.” Separated from one another before they’ve even left the parking lot, the first van pulls to [...]