Easter Bunny Bored Out of Mind
Sources close to the Easter Bunny say he is getting tired of “the same old hippity-hop routine every year.” True, all good things must come to an end, but to think that such a hero of modern holiday legend might consider retirement before the Pope is unheard of. Indeed the Big Fluff himself maintains that he is in perfect health, but “just can’t lay cream eggs like I used to.”

In this SweetCripes.com exclusive, we’ll cover the demise of a cultural icon, speculate on who he’ll choose as his predecessor, and try to figure out if Cadbury will continue to function as the leading supplier of Easter-y candy after the leading rabbit skips town.

As it turns out, the luck of the Irish has been with us and we’ve managed to obtain a selection of rare surveillance photos of the Easter Bunny himself during his recent trip to the Fair Oaks Mall. In these photographs, he can be seen looking bored out of his mind, almost to the point of tears. In fact, his cheap faux fur polyester bunny suit looks hotter than Hades and twice as torturous to wear. That painted-on smile isn’t fooling us, Mister.

Many believe that Russell Crowe is most likely to be chosen to replace the Easter Bunny, mostly because he is really good-looking and Australian. In a phone call to Crowe’s personal residence, the actor was extemely sexy but not available for immediate comment. Sources close to Crowe say he would “not be completely opposed” to taking the position, but that he’d have to think “long and hard and orange, like a carrot,” about it.