For several reasons, but mostly out of sheer boredom and vain curiosity, I recently decided to conduct a scientific experiment by documenting the growth of my mustache.

I’ve never had a mustache before, but those who wear them tend to always be top-notch at life. Thus, I thought of a few examples of sweet dudes whose mustaches have been the reason for their rise to the very pinnacle of success.

Zorro is perhaps the most shining example; he’s the only superhero who has a mustache, but he’s also the only one who can carve letter Z’s into stuff really good. Coincidence? I think not.

Johnny Depp is another homie I thought of, because I noticed that he always looks like he has a mustache even when he doesn’t. Too bad last year he was voted the Sexiest Man Alive by People magazine, but that must be just another coincidence, right?

Finally, I think someone who needs to be recognized for his killer ’stache is the great, but oft-overlooked gameshow host Alex Trebek. Unfortunately, he’s a quitter and decided to shave in 2002. Before I started growing mine out, I did a little research to see whether his lack of ’stache affected Jeopardy’s ratings. As you’ll probably agree, the graph speaks for itself.

Anyway, in the next installment I’ll be revealing the photos I’ve been taking so far. I’ll also tell you what I’ve been eating tons of to help the hair grow in thicker and fuller, and talk about some women whose mustaches have also been a key factor in their rise to fame and glory.