Punish them for hitting the gas too hard.

No less than a month ago, the worst bill in the history of time was passed into law: a fee of between $1,050 and around $3,000 will be tacked onto your expenses if you’re a Virginia resident caught going more than 20mph over the speed limit, or more than 80mph in general. Note that it’s a fee, not a fine. Why is this? Because the coffers of our great state of Virginia need to be filled. Money is needed to pay illegal immigrants to fix roads and mow grass and do municipal landscaping. You heard correctly; it’s just one big fund raiser.

The Virginia Government wants to raise $65 to $120 million to pay for… um, the roads, and… stuff. Seriously, this isn’t a joke. Who can afford to drop three large on a traffic violation? The law applies to anyone convicted of reckless driving, so that goes for drunk drivers and street racers who think their Japanese-made sedan belongs in Nascar, which isn’t a bad thing at all. But for crying out loud, don’t punish the average citizen who’s just trying to get around. And of course you realize that if any of these people had half a brain, they’d be able to do simple math. For example, just RAISE TAXES instead.

Do you know how much extra each Virginia citizen would have to pay in taxes to raise $120,000,000?

About $15.79.

Morons.

Therefore, I strongly recommend that you sign this.

Not all of the legislation that was passed as part of the July 1st, 2007 amendments is poorly thought out, though. Go ahead and stick it to the idiots who decide to get lit and then sit behind the wheel. Keep the $15,000 fine now imposed on concert promoters who don’t deliver (although I’d hate to be the guy in charge of publicizing a Guns N’ Roses show). Turn the red light cameras back on and give the death penalty to gang leaders who put out a hit on Johnny Witness or Billy Judge in the case that got ‘em pinched. You know I definitely don’t mind the 2 to 10 years in prison and the $100,000 fine for recruiting or encouraging anyone to engage in terrorist activity.

The bottom line is that if you ride on any of the highways that traverse our great state, you know that to go less than five over the speed limit is asking to get creamed. You might as well leap off an overpass onto steaming asphalt, splinter your legs with a hatchet and wait for oncoming traffic to finish you off. Thanks Virginia legislators. I appreciate the fact that you gave us the choice to just have taxes raised in lieu of these new laws. Oh wait. That’s right; you grabbed our freedom of choice, laid it out against the yellow paint and curb-stomped it.