The other day my good friend and long-time hacky-sack/beatboxing partner enlightened me on an intriguing anecdote from that day at school. Andromodes (whose name has been changed for the sake of anonymity) had been wandering around at lunch as usual, searching for someone with actual skill with whom to hack some sack.

After several moments of disappointment, a peculiar and bizarre, if terribly intriguing idea came to him. Quickly sketching up a sign on a random piece of looseleaf paper, Andromodes expeditiously proceeded to the nearest vending machine.

His sign read: Will Beatbox for 10 cents.

Now, something you must know about Andromodes is that he is a skinny white kid with a goofy face. But more important is the fact that he has acquired an egregious talent at beatboxing.

Normally, one does not think to find a white kid holding up such a sign near a vending machine during lunch. But that is exactly what he did. And within the less-than-forty-minute time period of lunch, Andromodes had made a whopping two dollars and thirty cents!

For those of you who have long been alummi of high school, that is easily enough to buy an entire lunch. And he did it all from receiving dimes, even nickels from the grossly opulent and often equally spoiled vending machine passers by of Robinson High School.

His tactics, of course, proved most fruitful, for whenever an unassuming teenager would receive their tender metallic disks in recompense for their faithful act of support to the school, they would find Andromodes anxiously awaiting to take the troublesome burden of currency off their hands. And for it they would receive a rhythmic, vocal cadence of exceptional proportions to correspond with their artificial culinary delight.

In closing, you know the world is destined for destruction when a skinny white kid raised in the suburbs of Northern Virginia can procure $2.30 within a time period of forty minutes, all for beatboxing to an innocent crowd of Virginian youths in a densely populated public high school.

What is this world coming to?